Mallorca knowledge anyone??!

Fellow Europeans ( or are there any others on my flist that know Mallorca?)..
Tom and I are thinking about spending a week on Mallorca in February. We've never been there, so we have zero knowledge about where to go and more important WHERE NOT TO GO!!
I have heard so many good but also so many bad things about those booze-trips..
We want something nice and quite, but not too quite.
Preferably with a beach nearby ..
Maybe you also know a clean hotel that's not too expensive?

I've tried mallorca.de, but it's all far too positive on that site *lol*

Gilmore Girls question

For those of you who are up to date with the show

( You all know who the question is about, huh? )

 Apparently the answer Angelika gave me, upsets me far too much
*sulks*
Anyone who knows better, or has a better memory or ... is a better liar???

Hahaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
Thank you uponthesea!!!
The answer is YES!! HE IS!!!
AND IT MAKES ME HAPPIER THAN IT SHOULD . LMAO