(no subject)

after last nights outburst ( thanks for the nice words, lovelies.. ), now a real christmas update..
feeling a little better now, though there's still a bad taste ..

24th was great..though tom already acted like shit..my parents picked me up from work and we ate and exchanged our little presents. i realised i bought nearly all the presens i handed out in a bookstore *lol* besides that, tom got the futurama dvd box and acqua di gio by armani and my dad some brazilian cds!

tom gave me the sex and the city seightseeing tour in new york, my parents money, a new electrical toothbrush and some books and they also brought me my grandmothers presents ( money ) and the amazon voucher from my aunt.

on the 25th tom was already acting out the little princess and stayed home when we drove to the botanical garden.. spend some quality time with my parents.
( doesnt exactly look like x-mas!! )

we phone tom, so he could join us at the christmas market and he eventually came,
but didnt talk very much and just answered nearly everything with "no".
FUN!!

tried to enjoy ourselves anyway and i really like the market

( berlin christmas market and alighted streets  )

the day went on like this..many bad discussions and it ended in a big row.

or the first time i really saw my everything breaking apart.. i had weird feelings on that matter before, but this time, the thought really took over in my head :( . seeing myself without him !!

i slept really bad and woke up with a pounding headache.
we had breakfast at a wonderful restaurant (nola's) and got along ok, because we said we wanted to have at least one "nice" day on christmas.

but it all started again after we returned from the natural history museum this afternoon. the problem is that we make HUGE discussion out of small problems and in those discussions he acts like a childish asshole!
makes me sooooo angry and i just dont know what i see in him and what i love about him..

OMG.. LOOK!!!!

what a great x-mas gift!!

thanks so much hygher


Enigma
for nora1980
232 words
Dom/Billy

Dom, more than anything, wants Billy to be with him at this very moment. Doesn’t necessarily fancy a shag, just wants someone to hold him like only his Billy can. Other people have tried, and Dom’s let them because he’s lonely and Scotland really is on the other side of the world, not just the hop skip and a jump he wishes it was.

Ian’s hugged him, pulled Dom down on his lap in a purely, strictly friends sort or embrace, just a little warmth shared as the wind whips through the caves. It’s more of a Charlie/Boone moment than a Dom/Ian moment because his fingers are wrapped in Fate and the rugged stripped shirt isn’t his own.

With Billy it’s blurred lines and unspoken emotions, the way Dom thinks it should be. Their relationship has never been explainable, not fully at least, not since the day they met years and years ago. Dom isn’t sure he wants to know all of the secrets it holds, not now at least, someday when he’s old and gray, or maybe bald, and the final piece of the Billy&Dom jigsaw puzzle is put in place he’ll look back a realize that everyday they were discovering something new about themselves, about each other .But today Dom doesn’t want to solve the paradox , he just want to fit one more piece into their almost infinite conundrum.