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[nori1980]

THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!
found on lennongirls LJ..

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You asked for it ...

[magikalcrab.livejournal.com]

To the Imps, Goblins and Labrats,

I come to plead my case before you all. I am not, as has often been suggested, Pure Evil (the number of times that this scandalous and untrue accusation has been levelled at me is is the root of the Capital Letters) - though nor am I a Paragon of Virtue.

Thus, I am applying to be declared both Naughty AND Nice.

To support my claims, I've solicited the testmonials - in some cases chasing down the subjects and beating it out of them, from beloved - if long suffering - friends and family. I hope to convince you, with my own words and theirs, that the Horns really are only there to hold up the Halo.

My case for NAUGHTY.

Besides the general kind of naughty that most people get up to - things such as skipping sessions with my personal trainer in favour of going to the beach, calling in sick to work on days when I'm 100% healthy, spending more on getting my hair done than on a month's groceries and sneaking around to exchange my father's full-fat milk and cheese with the low-fat version - I have been known to do more than my fair share of things. In fact, there is a certain sect of my friends who eagerly compiled an extensive list. I present to you the much-culled version of said list.

~ I take great pride and pleasure in being the one to double-spike the punch at parties. And I always have a camera ready when I have.
~ I borrow clothes without asking, then complain when the owners wish them to be returned.
~ I constantly tease the teenaged brothers of a close friend of mine - now they all turn bright red whenever I'm in the same room as them.
~ I jealously hoard my extensive collection of CDs and go so far as to insist on a Credit Card to be left as insurance against their return when lending them out.
~ Finally, from my father: "You continuously wear that damn perfume that you know I hate" (and I do it deliberatley!)

My case for NICE:

Situations where there have been witnesses to my Good Deeds are indeed few and far between. This is because, despite everything, I don't want to ruin my image. Please, prepare to be dazzled with the best that my friends could come up with. And don't listen to a word they say, I did NOT hold a gun to any of their heads and say that if you didn't believe them, they'd be sorry. (It was a WATER PISTOL, and it wasn't even loaded!)

Once again, my normal, every day niceities are nothing special: lending neighbours a cup of sugar, helping old ladies across the road, gunning down telemarketers and door-to-door salesmen are just the tip of the iceberg. Hopefully my finer qualities will shine through for your judgement:

~ I'm generous, and always put thought into gifts for people
~ I spend hours every Friday night making a week's worth of dinners for a friend of mine - she couldn't light her own oven if she had written instructions and tech support on speed-dial.
~ I just sectioned off half my front yard so that my 5 Gineau pigs could run free and have a better lifestyle.
~ I regularly take on double shifts at work to ease the burden of the After Hours co-ordinator having to call around trying to get hours covered.
~ I spent 4 nights a week after school during my Junior year teaching the new exchange student to speak English. (though it was tough going, since I don't speak German!)