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[personal profile] nori1980
had a brilliant time at my parents!

made major progress on the therapy stuff.. i went to see a counselor, that someone rec'd to my mum.
what an amazing woman! she seemed so wise ( being only in her forties*lol*) and had all sorts of helps for my problems and fears. and those few hours seemed to help more than years of therapy!
seems I've never LEARNED security from my parents,cos they we're too insecure themselves. "a child cannot learn when you tell it how to do something, you have to show it-lead it"

apart from that i have to improve my sex-life, seems i am too self-controlled. the controll i want to have ( all over, not just with the sex ) is in the way when you wanna reach the ultimate pleasure ( seems logic- if you don't let yourself go you don't come..)

"i am good at being alone" is my new mantra.. no really!
she said whenever i feel like it, i should say it. and when i feel my heart going nuts or my breathing becoming weird ( like it does when the fear sets in..) i should say it...

its ALL ABOUT the subconsciousness!!!

+++++++++++++

apart from that i met
meike ( whoa catrin is preggers!!),
heidi ( went to see "barfuss" omg HALLELUJAH again and TALKED AND TALKED AND TALKED.. sooo much in common!!)
eva ( yay ibiza here we come!!!)
and my aunt ( who should seek therapy herself !!)

edit.. catching up with my flist.
so funny how everyone was like OMFG (+link) ELF in orlando !!!!!111elevenses!!! after the news were posted :D
also

*sport is not about disciplin, if your body and mind don't wanna go to the gym and you're not happy with what you do, then dont!!
*if what you're eating is healthy for you, depends on your type of blood (??)
*my subconciousness is using my fear to gain power over people ( wha???)
*also crying is an instrument of power towards other people..
*its not like you say i wanna cry to get someone to do so and so.. your mind plays tricks on you; WITHOUT YOU NOTICING, simple as that..
*my fears make my mind ramble into the past and the future ( fearing what WILL happen will be like what happened BACK then)
which holds me from staying in the PRESENT situation

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nori1980

May 2015

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